 I am a longtime fan of the Godzilla movies. I cheer whenever I see the big guy trash Tokyo and whoever or whatever gets in his way. Too bad he couldn't step on this stinker. This movie was like chinese water torture combined with viewings of "Biodome" and "Pee Wee's Big Adventure". As the movie starts, aliens, or people from the future, arrive in Tokyo to help eliminate Godzilla. They also carry with them the most obvious "cute creatures that will become a hideous monster soon enough" I have ever had the misfortune to see. So they decide that the best way to get rid of Godzilla is to go back in time to when he was just a dinosaur and zap him out of time. They go back, and Not-So-Big G stomps Americans, apparently wanting revenge for the recient American movie starring Tippy the Wonder Iguana. They zap the dino out, and the aliens/time travellers/who gives a flying fig? send the cute but obviously destined to be King Gidorah monsters out to play... So they get back to the present, the dino safely stored at the bottom of the ocean for some reason, and Tokyo is under attack by, surprise surprise... King Gidorah... Yippie. I numbed myself to the pain at this point. I distinctly remember an evil android, also blatantly American, being dubbed for some reason. But, most importantly, even though Godzilla has been remoived from history... EVERY SINGLE FREAKING PERSON IN TOKYO REMEMBERS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lots of stuff happens, Godzilla gets mutated again and attacks, killing the monster. Some future girl returns home, roboticizes Gidorah into Mecha King Gidorah, and drives him into the past for a pointless battle with the new Godzilla. Aliens die. Gidorah dies. Brain cells die. Logic dies... Damn time travel movies... About the only cool thing about this movie is this one scene where the only Japanese soldier that both say Godzilla as a dino and survived the war, watches from a building. Godzilla and he lock eyes, they share memories in a flashback, and then Godzilla goes and NUKES THE HELL OUT OF HIM! A real tearjerker moment, know what I mean? Heh heh. All in all, easily the worst Godzilla movie ever made, not to mention the most pointless, idiotic, and lousy video in my collection. And this is coming from a fan of Power Rangers. Think about it. About the author: If you meet Aaron Thall on the street, run. You will know him. You will fear him. You may read another review, submit your own, or return home. |
