 This is the epitome of Coleman Francis films. His other two films did have a thread of a plot, but this one defies all logic. It contains all the usual Coleman trademarks: death, pain, death, misery, death, coffee, death, airplanes, death, suffering, and death. Okay, here it is: The film opens up with a totally unnecessary scene featuring John Carradine who recalls seeing three desperadoes making an escape in a train yard. Coleman Francis himself stars as Griffin, a criminal who has just escaped from prison. He runs into two drifter played by Coleman's partners in crime, Tony Cardoza and Howard Saunders. They are Cook and Landis, two ex-cons looking for work. After hiding Griffin from the police they decide to join the army and help liberate Cuba. They join and meet a guy who I believe is named Chastain (more about him later in the movie). After about half an hour of training about 7 guys including our three 'heroes' are sent to Cuba. There we meet Castro himself who likes a human Chia pet. Our three heroes are immediatly captured and sent to a prison that looks suspiciously like a chicken farm. Soon they are joined by Chastain. They witness a black prisoner get executed so they decide that now is a good time to escape. Chastain, who is wounded, begs them to take him with them. He says he has property with a tungsten mine and says he will split anything they find up there with them. They get some water for Chastain which is delivered to them by the same black guy who just got executed! But our warmhearted heroes leave him there to die like a dog and escape in an airplane. They land presumably in the United States and split up for reasons unknown. Coleman and Tony make their way to a run-down diner run by a guy with the pointiest nose in movie history. He tells them a sob story about how he lost all of his business when they moved the freeway so Coleman and Tony grab him and throw him down a well. Are you following all of this so far? Our law-abiding trio team up again to steal some cars and make their way across the train yard run by John Carradine where they somehow or another find Chastains wife. They don't tell her that they left her husband to die a miserable death in Cuba. She agrees to help them find the tungsten mine and scrapes up the supplies to do so. Meanwhile, the law is catching up with our threesome although how they knew they would be shacking up with Mrs. Chastain is anyones guess. They get to the mine, but their car runs out of oil and won't start. Mrs. Chastain says they have to go back. Coleman doesn't like that idea so he shoots her and runs off into the desert. The police catch the other two and, in true Coleman Francis form, Coleman is shot by a guy shooting from an airplane. Oh yeah, Chastain comes back and finds his wife shot. The End. Don't you feel better now? About the author: Severen, the goddess of bad movies, tells it like it is. You may read another review, submit your own, or return home. |
