 Clint Eastwood's directing is shockingly mediocre, with absolutely no attention being drawn away from the plot, characters and actors. This movie _needs_ attention drawn away from these things. In fact, supplying lapdances during the viewing of this film would be about the appropriate level of distraction. Clint mumbles his way through some anally fixated dialog, in between reading women's magazines and punching just about everybody in the chops. Mario Van Peebles manages to personify just about every stereotype they could cram into this drivel. He raps, he sluts around, he steals money. He also wear leopard and tiger skin clothes, has an earring, and plays the most fey guitar since The Artist, formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince. The only redeeming value of this character is that he has the best line in the movie, "Aw, she just don't know what's twelve inches long and white. Nothin." Yep, that's the best line in this movie. The plot vaguely centers around Clint Eastwood as a no-nonsense sergeant, busted for punching out an officer. He's given the task of getting somebody's idea of a bunch oflovable misfits led by a nerd into shape for his favorite pastime, war. He's the old-school soldier who likes battle, and is so geared for violence that he's unable to live in modern society. He's also old. Real old. Not as old as in Absolute Power, but old enough that he shouldn't pretend to be able to punch out the 19 year old bodybuilder who is the focus of the rest of the unit's homoerotic fantasies. There's lot of naked guys slapping each other, and chanting in unison, and other stuff that reminds me of High Schol wrestling. At the end, the unit goes to grenada, kills some natives, rescues college kids, bucks the overbearing CO, and gets rewarded by the general, another old-school bloodlust kind of guy. This movie is crap. Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap. I get 7 turds out of ten. About the author: Surrounding your cells, Aloysious "Phospho-lipid bi-layer" Membrane keeps fatty molecules out, while letting water and underage girls in. You may read another review, submit your own, or return home. |
