 Before Cannon cast Dolph Lundgren as the Punisher, they had another awful idea: let's cast him as He-Man! That should say enough. You say you don't know who Dolph Lundgren is? Well, he's the guy who played the Russian in Rocky IV. Yeah, you know, the guy who killed Apollo Creed. He was also Van Damme's archnemesis in Universal Soldier. That said, on with this review. Cannon Films has the terrifying ability to take any comic or cartoon property, and turn it into a piece of crap film. Look at Captain America or...ugh...The Punisher.. Trust me, this would've happened to Spider-Man. I'm serious as a heart attack. In this case, we have a horrible adaptation of one of the most popular cartoon series of the 1980s and the greatest action figure series of all time. Not only do we see Dolph Lundgren dressed like California Conan, we also see a young Courtney Cox and Robert Duncan MacNeill (Star Trek: Voyager) running around as 80s L.A. teens caught in the middle of an interdimensional struggle between He-Man and his archnemesis, Skeletor (Frank Langella). Skeletor is after the Cosmic Key, a device invented by the dwarfish Gwildor (Billy Barty) which could allow our skeletal antagonist to rule Eternia, maybe the universe. Skeletor also has the Sorceress held captive, and when He-Man and his friends try to rescue her, they're overpowered and forced to flee to Earth using the Cosmic Key. Believe it or not, I enjoyed this movie when I was a small child. But after seeing it recently, I wonder what the hell any kid would see in this flick. It's unbelievably stupid, and more proof that Dolph Lundgren cannot act. That said, I think I'll end this review here. Heaven help us if Skeletor makes good on his end-of-film threat ("I'll be back.") About the author: Questions? Comments? Andre can be reached at AmazinBoyS@aol.com. You may read another review, submit your own, or return home. |
