 I'd read about this and read how good it was, how awesome it was, and how gory it was, and how good the freakin' gore was, and finally, I said "OKAY I"LL RENT THE %$#&ING THING!!!." And guess what? The plot was nonexistant, which I hated. The gore was cheap and plentiful, and that's what I liked about it. The story is: A young couple gets taken in by a religious cult (imagine David Koresh's bunch under seige by zombies) plagued by zombies. Both get sucked in by the leader, both get well...screwed by the leader (the chick in a more literal way, the dude's head just gets messed with), and while the happy hubby is being drugged into a soldier for God or some crap like that, our female friend (I dubbed her Ms.Bitch) is realizing that the cult is bad (well, duh!) and wants to escape. Hubby won't hear any of it though, and takes her to be brainwashed by some sadistic Doctor type guy, coincidentally at the same time a female cultist is leading some biker(don't ask me how or why, I didn't write the damn movie) into the Brainwashing Toolshed of Utter Chaos and Bullshit. Of course, he escapes with Ms.B and blows some people away with his mighty shotgun. Meanwhile, the Hubby has made a deal with SATAN (DOO-DOO-DOO!!!) and chops the Cult Leader's head in two with a cleaver (again, this made no bloody sense....), assuming power after showing some fake signs of Stigmata or some crazy stuff like that. Well, to make a long story short, the biker returns with his pals and have a big fight with the cult, FINALLY allowing the zombies to enter the compound and cause some zombie carnage. Ms.B shoots Hubby and promptly gets ripped apart by zombies. Then there is some huge VERY CONFUSING SCENE with the Hubby flying around like Pee Wee Herman ("I'm the luckiest boy in the world!") and getting thrown into Hell, having to pay for his deal with SATAN (DOO-DOO-DOO!!). The Freakin' End. In short, this movie wasn't all that bad. The gore EFX were good in places, though the zombies looked pretty bad. Lots of exploding chests n' heads, including a hilariously fake cleavage removal scene (watch the flick) and an absolutely TASTELESS fetus removal scene. But the story...oh my brothers and sisters, THE STORY!!!! Where was it??!! Any solid plot the flick had was lost in the first ten minutes!!! The rest of the movie were pointless scenes showing how depraved and evil the Cult Leader was (he screws every chick in the movie, so T&A in abundance) or how crazy the Hubby was going. The zombies weren't given much screentime, and the sudden "Bikers Show Up To Kick Butt" and "SATAN (DOO-DOO-DOO!!) offering the "hero?" a deal" were totally pointless. A great effort that fell short of achieving a kind of cult status. Sad to think such beautiful effort was wasted (sigh, brushing away of tears) on such a shitty project. You may read another review, submit your own, or return home. |
