 Yes, it is the infamous Troll 2. A movie so bad, so vile, so awful, that Ed Wood would reach for his tums and John Waters would throw up. Troll 2 is the wonderful story of Joshua, a young lad who spends his nights listening to his grandpa tell him stories about goblins(note:the word 'troll' is never spoken by any one of the characters. The monsters are referred to as 'goblins'). Said goblins roam the forests, hunting down poor peasants and making them eat bright green food which makes them transform into,...welll...it looks like a melted zuccini. And...the trolls eat the melted zuccini...Wow. Now, it turns out that Joshua's grandpa has been dead for a year, and his spirit is the one talking to him. The notion of their son talking to a dead family member scares his parents, who decide to go on a exchange program where they will switch houses with a another family off in the country. The place is a small town called Nilbog, which, has it turns out, is goblin spelled backwards. Yes, Nilbog is inhabited by Goblins! Oh, God help us! Anyway, the boy is the only one smart enough to figure out that the population of Nilbog wishes to eat his family, and he must somehow stop them from eating the food, which can turn them into...melted zuccini! Can he do it? Will the day be saved? Time for the score. The good:...nothing. The bad: Oh boy, this will take a while. 1)their is no movie advertisments before the movie. It just pops up. Not even the FBI warning in front of every movie. That just scares me. 2)The characters in this movie have no depth whatsoever. Joshua is annoying, and his familie's plight never means anything to us. Why this is so is because 3)no one in this film can act worth a damn. The father and Joshua are bad enough, but the cake is taken by both the Troll Queen, who looks like Bromhilda on crack, and the daughter of the family, who is actually worse in terms of acting than kids from the 5th grade play, "Save the Rainforest." 4)the horrible special effects. The goblins are just midgets in stiff, rubber masks, and potato sacks. And they eat Nickoleodeon Gak. That is not very frightening. and finally, 5) No sex or gore. This movie could have been saved if only these two factors would have been met. Instead, there is no gore whatsoever. And sex? If watching the goblin queen seduce a guy with a ear of corn is something that makes you wanna shag...well than, you must be from Iowa. So, if you wanna laugh, rent this movie. And be sure not to eat any bright green food. About the author: Sadly, Sonny Bono is not present in Troll 2 You may read another review, submit your own, or return home. |
