OTH: Let's get right to it, Ken.  No softballs.  Some people say that you aren't one of the top 5 actors in the world.  They put you, well, somewhere below "the top 5".  Not us, though, we love you!

Rhineburns: Thanks.  It's like, the real fans know I'm doing good work. 

OTH: You sure are!  That being said, some people -- slightly "off" people, if you ask us -- have expressed concerns that your movies aren't as high a quality as say, "the top 5" movies ever made.

Rhineburns: I'll be honest -- I do movies that are fun, and sometimes they don't have the best stuff.  You  know, good stuff, like directors and props.  I know they look a little rough,  but it's good wholesome entertainment.

OTH: Well, but all of your films have gratuitous sex and maiming, right? 

Rhineburns: That depends on your definition of maiming.

OTH: Good point.  And the nudity?

Rhineburns: I admit it -- I do show my breasts.  But I NEVER let the camera travel south to Dixieland, if you know what I mean.  Unless it's integral to the plot.  I'm not as shy as I was -- I used to be nervous about the scar down there that I got in Grenada, but look -- see, it's all healed now!

OTH: Uh, hmm. Could you get my photographer a wet cloth?  I'm sorry, he doesn't usually get sick like that on assignment. 

Rhineburns(gets cloth): Okay.  Can we continue?

OTH: Can you put your pants back up now?

Rhineburns: Okay.  Ready.

OTH: Let's talk about your lifestyle. What about the rumors?  Does it bother you that your infatuation with prostitutes is discussed at every watercooler?

Rhineburns (laughs nervously): I'll say this -- it would if the rumors were true.

OTH: Come on, Ken. We even met a hooker in the hallway on the way to your office!

Rhineburns : That's my mother.

OTH:  I ... uh, that is, we knew that. We were just bluffing.  Did we mention we love you?

Rhineburns: Yes.