Director, Producer, Writer:  Terry Rudy

Principle Cast:  Clay Loveless (Jonathon Species), Mike Stewart (the Killer), Bruce Powers (Detective Mason), Peter Millar (Detective Lasher), and a cast of dozens.

Production:  Instrumental Productions

Web Site:  http://www.instruments.org (further information available and videotapes for sale)

Here's how Instrumental Productions describes their video in a paper which came with it:

"The Perfect Killer.
It rose from the murky waters of Niles Canyon Creek and started going on a killing spree, mutilating its victims with a brutal glee.  The local town police could not track this killer down.

The Perfect Hunter.
Jonathon Species (renegade bounty hunter and hardcore weapons specialist) arrived in town to settle a little unfinished business with the mob.  His unrelenting one-man-war continued.

When two unstoppable foes meet.
It was only a matter of time before the Perfect Killer met the Perfect Hunter."
 

Perfect Instrument is part of a series of films about Jonathan Species, some guy who's so unstoppable, the only thing he can't defeat is a penchant for `80s Top Gun aviator sunglasses (something I sincerely hope he's working on).  The movie has a plot about Species going to kill some mob types.  It also has another completely unrelated plot about a mud-caked guy who emerges from a swamp and kills a few people.  Oh, and he growls a lot (the guy, not Species).  Then, as the little teaser above suggests, they meet.  And, man, is it ever for no reason whatsoever.  They just meet.  Huh.  Ayup.  That's about it.

Yeah, I guess there's a lot more in this direct-to-video video made by some rather interesting people with nice cars.  There's a car chase scene with a shoot-out at the end.  There's a scene where Species tussles with a pretty (WARNING:  Male pig comment on the way!) curvy and rather fetching little minx (they don't tussle in bed, but instead hit each other in an airport bathroom).  There's even a boat chase!  Yep, it's a pretty ambitious little project they've got going on there.  Despite all the action, though, the film seems to drag like RuPaul (I'm extremely sorry for that joke, I've just been playing Resident Evil 2 for three hours and I'm really sick of these damn dirty mutants).  The movie's slow.  Real slow.  Molasses slow.  Old man at an ATM slow.  Fortunately, it's somewhat short.  Unfortunately, because of it's slight boringness, it at times doesn't seem anywhere short enough.

This is not to say the movie is that bad.  The acting seems to dwell in that hazy area between Public Access and High School production, but it fits the production and actually manages a better tone than I had expected given the rather large cast.  The locations (and there are a lot of them) are good, as are the technical credits.  It was done on video, but edited without choppiness (although it could have done with a bit more editing).  The fight scenes are semi-goofily organized (a 7 on the Goofenherder Scale) and laughable, but in an extremely likable and enjoyable way.  One of the best things about the fights and the production on the whole was the foley sound added to the scenes.  This provides the extra "thwap!," "bang!," and "boing!" ("boing?") to the things that happen.  Let me tell you, the effects may sound a little cheesy and added on at first, but if you've seen as much crap as I have without any similar sound, you'll appreciate it.  Extra bonus points all around!

Here's some more things to watch for in the movie:

-There's plenty of gore for you gore fanatics! (and I know you're out there!)
-The reporter who shows up at a crime scene (she's got the neat, official banner at the bottom of the screen just like the real news people have with her name and "LIVE" and stuff)
-Car chases!  Boat chases!  Skirt chases!  (actually, I'm not sure of the last one)
-The trowel stabbing scene (which also involves someone getting a hand-removal!)
-An electric drill in a neck (you know, Craftsman never warns you about that)
-The human buffet scene when the Killer starts eating someone's organs when he was still kind of using them
-The Killer's backwoods mother who kind of looks like a slightly older Roseanne (and keeps yelling "Harlan!")

This is, of course, just a small smattering of what's in the movie.  There's plenty to see, if you don't mind sitting through the rather tedious parts (which are a bit too numerous for my taste).  Still, there's plenty of gore and some fun-to-watch fight and killing scenes, there's two hard-nosed (and extremely extraneous cops), and a larger cast than even most episodes of Deep Space Nine (not that I watch it, of course).  If you're interested in seeing a homemade movie with better production values and spending than most to have fun with, you might want to check it out.  If you need a movie that cost more than $140 million to make and has a plot somewhat faster than that of Microcosmos, you may want to look elsewhere.