Another Oh, the Humanity! Review

Yup, this is the OTHER remake of Godzilla that was supposed to reinvigorate the franchise to an international audience. It was made in (you guessed it) 1985 and featured an international cast including the ever-increasingly Orson Welles-looking Raymond Burr (remember Perry Mason?). You see, he was in the American version of the first Godzilla movie as Steve Martin. Not that Steve Martin, but some reporter. There's also a lot goings-on in the Pentagon to add a Cold War kind of thrill to everything, probably to cash in on the whole Reagan thing. Still, it's a Toho production when you get down to it, and the Japanese cast forms the center of the movie. You see, Godzilla needs to attack Japan to sate his hunger for radioactive material. This is the traditional Godzilla, in other words, a guy in a big lizard suit, and that means that he's going to be a guy in a big lizard suit attacking a lot of small models. No CG for these puppies! Still, there are drawbacks. Like all the Godzilla movies, it's really badly directed. Most of the time, the camera just zooms back to a wide view, showing all the models that Godzilla's going to smash. The audience then gets to thrill as he smashes them. Intercut this with some footage of people running around screaming as Styrofoam debris falls around them and you've got yourself some mighty fine viewin'! All sarcasm aside, though (yeah, right), the movie's just not all that great. Pretty standard fare, really, and probably worse than the new Godzilla. Still, no Matthew Broderick reminders of Project X. That's got to be worth a few points...