Cobra Rob Sylvester Stallone is Cobra, a cop who has to battle some evil fascists (is there any other kind?) No At one point, Cobra was a "real" movie. It came out in the theaters, probably made a little money (not enough to pay for Sly's salary, but still, money), and was reviewed by "real" critics. But its statute of limitations has certainly passed, and such fodder is now the domain of us, the bad movie critics, who, like the vultures we are, pick it apart for entertainment beyond what the film actually tried to provide. It's just not a good movie. Stallone can barely speak and pretty much plays the role of "Marion Cobretti" (get it, Cobra?!) in the same way that Bruce Willis plays all of his roles now; kinda silent, yet sensitive when he needs to be. See, Cobra knowns how to use a computer and eats healthy vegetarian food! Wow, he's cool! Plus he can kick ass! Yeah! Anyway, the movie's plot involves some fascist skinhead types who want to kill Brigette Nielsen (Stallone's former wife!) because she saw the face of their leader and could identify him. Yep, it's basically the same exact plot as the Dragnet movie but with Nielsen in the "Virgin Connie Swale" role. Even the prescence of the guy who played Sledge Hammer can't save this movie (not that there's ever been a movie that he has saved). It's bad, kids, and it's the kind of movie that makes people who see Cop Land amazed that Stallone can kind of speak. Cobra is a member of the elite "Zombie Squad"; the photography sessions; Cobra's savvy use of a computer; his car/tank