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RATINGS
Ratings for all four categories are on a scale
from one to ten.
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| This measures the overall cruddiness of the
picture. In A-movie terms, an OK film such as
City Slickers would get a 2 or 3 in this
catagory while a Dune or Volcano
would have to get an 8 simply because they are
that much poorer. |
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| Besides not actually being a word, the parodizing
factor measures an important factor of bad movies.
This is the ability for the film to be made fun
of in a way which enhances the overall enjoyability
of the viewing. This can be brought out either
through jokes made by the audience or a tongue-in-cheek
mood within the film. Perhaps the most important
key to an good bad movie, the parodizing factor
is what makes or breaks an evening of crap (sometimes). |
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| That's right boys and girls, that's the word,
and it means just what you think it does. The
sex rating measures the sheer amount of gratuitous
nudity and sexual activity is in a film and the
overall quality of it (if you're into that kind
of thing). If a movie does not contain sexual
activity, the film will not have a rating in this
catagory. If there's so much as a backseat encounter
involving Billie's night at the Prom, the quality
(or perhaps sheer quantity) will then be measured
(sometimes). If you don't like that kind of thing,
don't look for movies with a rating in this catagory. |
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| This measures the overall quality of the viewing
experience taking into account the other three
catagories and any other factors which may be
included in the review. This is basically the
amount that this film is recommended by the reviewer.
The reasons for the recommendation (or warning
to avoid it) will then be found in the review
(sometimes). |
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| One final note. The inclusion of the "Naked girl dancing
in the credits" rating is because of the sheer number
of films which actually have naked girls dancing in
the credits. You'd be surprised. |
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GLOSSARY
Warning : "Oh, the Humanity!" website and its
parent corporation Bucket O' Crap Productions
(a subsidiary of Yakamura End of Monkey Internationale) cannot
be held responsible if you actually start using these terms
around your friends and they decide to
shun you.
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| A adjective describing a movie that makes a
poor attempt at satirizing itself and its genre
in order to make up for its own shortcomings.
Note that in some movies, this technique can be
very funny -- but in the wrong hands, it is pure
cinematic death, especially for the bad movie
connoisseur. |
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| A film that exploits the female form entirely
for the purpose of interesting men in it. A lot
of movies exploit sex: a junx movie exists to
do this. These movies are not porn (we guess some
people consider them such, though); they are most
often R-rated or made for cable movies that have
an unusally high sexual content, and include the
"Breasts" movie category. Most of the movies we're
reviewing here can be considered junx movies.
Remember, just because it's an action film or
a mystery or thriller doesn't mean it's not a
junx movie. Why this term? We don't know whether
other people do, but friends of ours often refer
to personal sexual parts, as in: "getting hit
in the junx". Although when used in this context,
it can refer to either male or female anatomical
organs, for films it means movies with female
nudity and sex scenes. |
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| A film which gratuitously displays scenes of
topless women. Probably any movie with the word
"Bikini" in its title. Usually the sex is more
implicit than explicit in these films, but not
always. The focus tends to be on "fun in the sun"
and wet t-shirts leading to disrobing, not the
strong full nudity and sex common in racier junx
movies. |
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| Remember at the end of Return of the Jedi,
when the Emperor tries to kill Luke with a batch
of blue electric arcs looking like they came from
a Radio Shack plasma ball doohickey? Didn't that
suck? We thought so. |
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| "Save The Something With Breasts" : acronym
for that sub-genre of the breasts movie where
something (a car-wash, a club, someone's life)
is about to have something done to it (foreclosed,
bought-out by an evil villain, killed) and an
ingenious group of supporters make enough money
to prevent this by attracting customers with well-endowed
women. Usually a little difficult to make fun
of because once you've seen one, you've seen them
all, parody wise. |
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