• I want to erase any record of my college years
• everything else has gone wrong -- why not Godzilla?
• it is particularly offensive
• urban renewal
• not a single two-way street in the city so far as I could see
• it would like to be the capitol of Germany but is not
• it's the armpit of humanity
• Godzilla don't need no stinking reason why
• it's an arrogant and annoying city
• they have bloody sticky tofu there
• to shake up the population
• give me one good reason not to
• it smells
• show of force
• 'cos it's a hole
• we have the charming, antique "Cow Palace."
• pretty beaches
• illegal immigrants
• lots of sharks and fishes to eat
• no one would miss it
• to show western Europe isn't immune to punishment
• big cliffs to scratch on
• wide architectural arrays of tasty buildings and structures to sample
• people from Manitowoc call it Carptown because it is so ugly
• because it smells like SPAM
• our website is stupid

• Godzillaraptor
• Philasaurus Rex
• Hemmoroidius

 

Ian Harris: 

The best city to stomp is a difficult choice but I would have to go with  
the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. Dallas/Ft. Worth offers a huge land area,  
lots of hicks, illegal mexicans, the Dallas Cowboys, and the Dallas  
Cowboy Cheerleaders.  

Downtown Dallas offers enough skyscrapers to keep a nuclear powed  
monster entertained while Ft. Worth and all of the subburbs allow plenty  
of room to run and play. Plus I would get the honor of irradiating the  
Cowboys football stadium, during a major game of course, and rendering  
it useless for a few hundred years, and don't forget those tasty  
cheerleaders!  

Yes, I know Dallas is in the middle of the state but think of the rest  
stops along the way. I could take a shortcut across central Florida,  
taking out the evil Rodent Empire, A short swim through the gulf would  
be a refreshing break before a short stomp in New Orleans, on to  
Houston, and then to the final goal of Dallas. Just think of location  
you can go anywhere in the U.S. from there just by following the nice  
highways that the people made for you, and there would be plenty to  
snack on along the way to Atlanta, New York, Chicago, Denver, etc.  

Phillip Laton: 

I, Philasaurus Rex, would have to come into the mainland of the Pacific 
North West of the Americas at the city of Seattle. I could wipe out the 
reminder of the Grunge movement and stomp MicroSoft Campus into the 
ground. Not that I have anything against MicroSoft, but I don't want to 
take the chance of Gatesilla attacking me.  

Next I would head across the state and stomp Twin Peaks. Who killed Laura 
Palmer? Philasaurus did.  

After wandering down through the mountains I would probably end up in 
South Park because I'm a bastard, and to prove it I would kill Kenny. What 
the hell is that little bastard saying anyways? 

The next stop on my trip would be St. Louis. There I would officially 
close the gateway to the west by toppling the arch. I'll show you divine 
right.  

Finally I would head down to memphis where I would give the population a 
reason to sing the blues. I would probably settle down there in Graceland, 
because in my own way... 

 ...I am the King, baby. 

The Reptile: 

First we have to establish a few ground rules about safety (since the  
life span of a gigantic monster is usually about a week to a month  
according to the best sources we have, or they get sent off to volcanos  
to live in...).  
1. The country of the city must not be big enough not to kill me, but 
it must be small enough not to be cared about. 

2. The area of the city must be hot and wet. If I were a huge monster,  
I would be a reptilian and it would be the most comfortable for me. I  
mean if I choose London or Paris, Id last half a season, on account of  
the cold. The area also has to be at or below sea level (being twice  
size of the statue of liberty would take its toll on my lungs).  

3. Finally the country of the city MUST have nukes and nuclear power  
plants. Being a nuclear mutant, radiation would be like the mint on a  
pillow. It would enable me to more often use my "ability" to shoot  
electrical death from some netherorifice of my body. Thatd be cool ..  
Huh Huh Huh..... 

Taking all that into consideration I would destroy...St. Petersburg, FL!  
The locals would just think its a knew trend to be invaded, and for  
everyone whos seen the movie "Carnosaur" the pop. would be walking up to me and saying, "Peace my green brother". Its wet, D.C. would launch  
nukes at me constantly, and I could kick back with the babes at the beach. Or step on them. That tends to scatter crowds though... Following rule #1, the only decent military is in America, and no reenforcements would come from neiboring countrys. If they did theyd bring beer or food. I also wouldnt attack any ships, that gives away the fact that  
your coming. Plus its on the ocean side so you could more easily approach it. With all that being said, St. Petersburg is sure to be any monsters city of choice. 

Siothio: 

Hi dear, 

I'm thinking that the city to destroy should be Nashville. No offence 
to the country music fans. But I imagine it's just funny for the dude 
to wreck buildings in the country music background. The monster can't 
stand it at the end, being it is such a powerful music. 

Anella Petrie: 

now wait a second, Alan and Rob , all those cities are fine and dandy if  
you become the hormomally wedgied male Godzilla, but what about me the  
young (and beautiful)female that has her date calender tradgically cut  
short when she is mutated by untested cosmetics that had accidentally  
mixed with a good mexican beer and cold two day old pizza !  
What then!!!Do i spend my days trying to find a date that loves big  
women? 
NO I DONT THINK SO!!Id be devestating the heart of the country...The Gold  
Coast(Queenland ,Australia) on schoolies week (mum can i go I'll be good  
pleeeease ...sorry i just regressed a little ,my shrink says i should be  
able to remember everything about that week soon)using my XXXL Hawiian  
shirt and sunnys id blend into the drunken crowd unnoticed (id start with  
the drunks and ravers(hey they're great pickeled in alcohol ))Then I'd  
rip up a high rise building and use it like a 'peg the leg'(Ralph Harris  
to the uneducated)Therfore tripling the death toll in a fraction of the  
time! Ignoring the screams of "im to young to die" and "hey who spiked my  
drink ,im seeing giant lizards in hawiian shirts" i would squish the  
drunken , immature, squabbaling children(hey its staring to sound like im  
killing off the whole of parliament)untill someone decided to give me a  
giant Nefergen tablet for the PMS (hey dont we all turn into monsters at  
that time of the month?) 

Petro: 

You all make great choices, most I don't agree with but there is one item I do, Someway or another the antichrist ( Jesse the new MTVeejay ) ,must die.. I would personally stroll into NYC .. grab the crysler building and then stop by timesquare to grap this annoyance from mtv's office and then showing that even giant radioactive mutant monsters can also play major league I would hit a pop fly out to the pennsylvanian amish country with that freak of nature .. then after having some lean cuisine ( eating the fashion cafe ) I would pick up my entorage of New York lawyers and head across country to hollywood, where i would destroy it with legal red tape,  
After making a heafty settlement of the payoffs from such producers as roger corbin , and huge indorsements from companies like magnum ,I mean every company is looking for the biggets star to promote their products,, hell you cant get any bigger than a radioactive 50 story monster.  
After my settlements and endorsement checks cleared I would pop down in Boise Idaho, where they would never expect a 50 story radioactive monster to live at.  
And secretly at night I would visit richmond virginia and seattle washington, and do kareoke renditions of the Rolling Stones song "start me up " .. See how they like it when the monster is in their backyard  
  

Sincerly,  
Hemerriodius , the World's biggest pain in the ass 

Adelaide 
Albuquerque 
Annapolis 
Ashburton, NZ 
Baghdad 
Baltimore 
Biloxi 
Bloomington/Normal, IL 
Boise 
Bombay 
Brooklyn 
Calgary 
Chicago 
Cleveland 
Cornell 
Dallas/Ft. Worth area 
Denver 
Des Moines 
Disneyland 
Dollywood 
Dresden 
East Hampton 
El Paso 
Fostoria, OH 
France 
Frankfurt 
Ft. Meyers, FL 
Geneva 
Glasgow 
Graceland 
Green Bay 
Hollywood 
Hong Kong 
Houston 
India 
Indianapolis 
Ithaca 
Jelinpahaes 
Jersey City 
Kahari, Pakistan  
Kansas City 
Las Vegas 
Los Angeles 
Lubbock, TX 
Melbourne 
Miami 
Midland, TX 
Minneapolis 
Monte Carlo 
Moscow 
Nashville  
New Jersey 
New York 
Newark 
North Bergen, NJ 
Orlando 
Oslo  
Pakistan 
Paramus, NJ 
Paris 
Portland 
Salt Lake City 
San Francisco 
Santa Barbara 
Sante Fe 
Sao Paulo 
Seattle 
Singapore 
Skokie, IL 
Sofia, Bulgaria 
South Park 
Spain 
St. Louis 
St. Petersburg 
Sydney 
Tangiers 
Tegucigalpa 
Tel Aviv 
Texas 
The Gold Coast 
Topeka 
Toronto 
Twin Peaks 
Two Rivers 
Venice 
Walla Walla 
Washington, D.C. 
Winnipeg 
Zeurich, CH 
our stupid website!