That's right, picture this:  It's Friday night, you've got your friends (significant other, inflata-Wanda, whatever), you've got your copy of Flesh Eating Mothers, you've got your v.c.r. ready, and-  WHAT?  Your forgot the SNACKS?!!?

Snacking is integral to having a successful bad movie night.  Not only do the nutrients within such items as Slim Jims and Mountain Dew keep you healthy enough for hours of wisecracking, it'll also keep you awake through some of the more boring films such as The Day of the Triffids, Vampire Bat, and Wag The Dog.  So here's a list of some of Oh, the Humanity's favorite snack items (along with some various other sundries) that will make any bad movie night a success (unless you're Vegan and then...  well...  good luck, I guess).
 

1.  Soda, cola, pop, soft drinks, or whatever you might want to call `em!-  You just can't have enough carbonated beverage, the more sugary, the better.  We recommend Mountain Dew (no offense to you non-conformist Mello Yello lovers), Wild Cherry Pepsi, or your local supermarket's no-brand Zippy Fruit Punch.

2.  Slim Jims-  We cannot stress this enough.  Not only do they test your ability to ingest certain "food" stuffs, they're also damn fine eatin'.  Make sure you get the Big Slim to compensate- er, I mean, challenge your gastric fortitude.

3.  Nachos-  Whether the store-bought kind or the homemade, nothing settles your stomach through such stomach-churning classics as Meet The Feebles than a huge pile of crap topping a huge pile of tortilla chips.  Also provides entertaining debate over whether it's morally acceptable to put the chili like substance on your 7-11 Nacho Kit.  Mmmm...

4.  Sugar-  Yep, just pure, grade-A white gold.  By the spoon or by the straw, it's got what you need to keep you goin' all night long!

5.  Pizza/Chinese Food/Buffalo Wings-  We've now reached the Take-Out section of the list.  These three items here are just a few of our favorites, but there are dozens of others that may be available in your very own neighborhood!  No joke! They've got this whole system now where they have guys drive the food to your house and we don't even have to move our fat asses! We mean, you don't even have to move your fat asses (why are we making fun of ourselves?). Whether hot or cold, take-out is just perfect.  Plus, it makes the night seem just like you're going to a drive-in.  Hell, park your car in your living room, we don't care!  Whatever makes the night more special for you...

6.  Candy, Candy, Candy!  (I can't let you go!)  Um, whatever.  See #4.

Well, that just about ends this short list of some suggestions on what comestibles can help to make a successful and nutritious night at the bad movies.  Feel free to e-mail us and let us know what you like to chow on when you rent.  Or don't.  Be that way.  Have a good night!