The Brits have four actresses nominated in this category this year, and they represent pretty much a bunch of people we’ve all seen before. I’m going to avoid saying anything bad about Helena Bonham Carter because there’s nothing mean that hasn’t been said before. [Ed.: Are you sure someone's already said "She's a spikey-haired, Jane-Austen-worshipping, 10^th Grade Honors-English-teacher falling-in-love-with, wishing-she-lived-in-Salon-era-France (Chopin included), woman with a need to do movies that people won't like because that mean's it's artistic"?] It doesn’t matter, she’s not going to win. Julie Christie isn’t going to win either, and since I’ve never seen a movie with her (except for Dr. Zhivago), I think I’ll let her slide despite the fact she was in Dragonheart. Judi Dench was good in Mrs. Brown, which I actually saw while in a fancy-pantsy mood, and it was really good despite the presence of Billy Connelly, you know, the second teacher from Head of the Class? He was actually good, too. All that plus the fact that most people know Dench as the new M in the last couple James Bond movies means I have no choice but give her some props and let her pass as well, without making fun of her parentage or personal grooming habits. (Jeez, it’s turning into a big love fest here, ain’t it?) There’s one more Limey, and that’s Kate Winslet, she of the Titanic, the woman who has caused more scorn from girls with braces since Ann Margret got to make out with Elvis. I’d like to make fun of her, but her only true bad movie appearance (other than, arguably, the movie she’s nominated for) was probably in A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, [Ed.: How could they slight the Connecticut Yankees with neery a mention in that movie!] which most of you probably won’t believe that she was in anyway. Well, she was. So there. 

Hmph. Not a very big bad movie list, is it? That’s all right, because America has a secret weapon. No, it’s not Fat Man, or even Little Boy, it’s the Mad About You Chick. Yessir, Helen Hunt is representing the American delegation, and if there was ever a winner based upon bad movie choices, then this is it. Not only was she in Project X with Matthew Broderick and a bunch of monkeys, not only did she appear in not one, not two, but THREE of the Trancers movies (which I hear are actually kind of fun), not only was she in Twister (which I had to throw in there), but she was even in Next Of Kin, the best Patrick Swayze movie since Father Hood. [Ed.: Only You!!! Only You!!!] This all goes without even mentioning her career in Mad About You, which I once saw an episode of which made me violently kill my brother. We don’t talk about him anymore... Anyway, like the scrappy 13 original colonies proving triumphant over a much stronger Britain, Helen Hunt has the greatest weapon in her favor, Geography. The Oscar show is in L.A., which, if I recall correctly, is right here in these good ol’ United States. Like the British of days of yore, these modern day Redcoats will have to fight it out on our turf. At the end of the day, though, after they try to conquer, they will have to go home, while all Helen will have to do is wait it out, just like the Colonies did a couple hundred years ago. History repeats itself. [Ed.: What if Maine swears allegiance to Britain again?] 

Rob’s Pick: Helen Hunt, 13 red stripes, 11 white ones, and a hell of a lot of stars. [Ed.: Umm.. only 13 stripes total, Rob. I know -- you're one of those Puerto Rico supporters!! Well, we don't have room for any more stars, statehood boy!]