Bad movies.  Watching them is painful.  Reviewing them is excruciating.  Writing about them is ... not that bad. 

We looked around.  Seems like a lot of the best sites on the net have a lot of print journalism.  Essays, relevant articles, editorials and point of view columns.  They're well written and entertaining.  They interest you and grab your attention. They turn away from the evil dark side of the passive voice, and bask in the glorious technical writing class light of the active one!  

Then we looked around some more and found a lot of nonsensical junk, slapped together by a lame college student who thinks he's the next Dave Barry.  And that's when Alan and Rob said, me too! 

So we proudly introduce our personal columns, where we'll both write about whatever the hell we want.  We can pretend to be Dave Barry all we like and you can't stop us, you commie bastards!